Tourist Magnets

Pennsylvania has much to offer tourists. The Keystone State has historical sites (Valley Forge, Gettysburg), amusement parks (Dorney, Kennywood), outdoor recreation (Laurel Highlands Hiking Trail, Appalachian Trail), and fireworks stores aplenty, all well-marked at exits from I-78 or the PA Turnpike.


I discovered two additional tourist magnets during a drive across the state yesterday. They are a tad off-beat even in comparison to the inimitable Roadside America Miniature Village and PA Dutch Gift Shop with the ominous Giant Farmer Wielding a Pitchfork Statue alongside I-78 in Shartlesville. I still have nightmares about that statue coming to life and wreaking havoc like the Sta-Puf Marshmallow Man in "Ghostbusters".


The first is "World of Pigeons" west of Carlisle. This hidden gem does not rate a mention on the blue "Attractions This Exit" highway sign. In fact, "World of Pigeons, Exit Here" is rather crudely painted on a barn visible from the Turnpike. One's imagination staggers at the possibilities. Is WoP fully-staffed by pigeons? Pigeon cooks and wait staff serving tourists in the restaurant? Pigeon security maintaining order? Pigeon aerobats conducting coordinated fly-overs to the oohs and ahs of the crowd? Precision dropping of pigeon droppings? Pigeons dressed in various national costumes cooing "It's a Pigeon World After All" at the finale of each performance?


The second hidden tourist attraction has no signage, but is sadly familiar to those of us without a CD player or an iPod connection in our car. It is the Place Where Radio Waves Go To Die. We drive through the Turnpike tunnels west of Carlisle singing along to Classic or Soft Rock on our car radios when suddenly static then silence ensue. For 100 miles between the Kittanning and Tuscarora Tunnels, we fiddle with the "scan" feature to no avail. At the higher points on the road, we may catch a faint echo of Rush Limbaugh, but even El Rushmo cannot overcome the Mordor of Radio that is west-central PA.


This could be a tourist attraction for those seeking a return to a simpler time. "Tired of those irritating cell phone calls, text messages, and Tweets that interrupt your solitude? Hoping to entertain your kids the same way that Daniel Boone and the pioneers did in the pre-Electronic Age? Come to the Place Where Radio Waves Go To Die, and it is 1770 all over again!"


Pennsylvania may not have Disney World or Sea World, but Florida doesn't have World of Pigeons or The Place Where Radio Waves Go To Die.