Searching through my tee-shirt drawer yesterday, I realized that my prized Ryan Howard Phillies shirt had settled toward the bottom of the stack. This is the same shirt that had to be literally ripped off my body for periodic laundering during the oh-so-satisfying 2011 regular season or, for that matter, the preceding five glory years. I just couldn't bear to wear it again after the disappointment of this year's playoff failure.
Coughlin's Law states, "Everything must end badly. Otherwise, it would never end." So it is with the recent success of my beloved Phillies. Ryan Howard ruptured his achilles tendon. Cole Hamels is having surgery on his pitching elbow. Rumor has it that Jimmy Rollins, Ryan Madsen, and Raul Ibanez will depart as free agents. Placido Polanco and Chase Utley had injury-plagued seasons and aren't getting any younger. The latest Golden Age of Phillies Baseball appears to be ending very badly, indeed.
But all is not lost. They will come back. The World Champion 1980 Phillies settled into 28 years of mediocrity until they won another title, but they did come back. Unfortunately, if it takes another 28 years for the Phils to win the World Series, it is highly unlikely that I will be alive to see it. I must cherish this moment. I will wear my Ryan Howard shirt until it falls from my body in tatters. I will proudly display Ryan's #6 past throngs of jeering Mets fans. If the 2011 season was my last shot, I will go out with my head held high.
Another World Series win would have been great, though. Damn you, Coughlin.
Showing posts with label Phillies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Phillies. Show all posts
Friday, October 21, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
The Mutton Chop Revolution
Baseball's Spring Training is a time for optimism. We Phillies fans are living in a Golden Age - four consecutive divisional championships, one World Series win, a seemingly invincible 2011 pitching staff. It's all good.
Or is it? Word from Florida is that Chase Utley might be headed for knee surgery. The Phillies without Chase Utley just won't be the same. His hits, home runs, and RBIs can possibly be replaced, but I will mostly miss his sideburns.
We all know that baseball players are hairstyle trend-setters. Bake McBride of the Phillies had one of the the first Afros back in the 70s. Al Hrabosky and Goose Gossage began the Fu Manchu mustache trend in the same era. Mike Schmidt and Greg Luzinski both adopted the fortunately short-lived male perm white guy Afro look. The Yankees' Thurman Munson was the first to sport mutton chop sideburns.
It's a new decade and it calls for a new hairstyle. The military crew cut is on its way out and the Justin Bieber front sweep hopefully will never catch on. I was really hoping that mutton chop sideburns would be the wave of the 2010s. Chase Utley was leading the charge. Over the past few years, Chase's sideburns worked their way down his cheeks. Surely, 2011 would see full-blown mutton chops on the Phillies second baseman.
The best part was that I can finally be in style. Back when Thurman Munson had his mutton chops, I was too young to grow good ones. My sideburns back then were sparse and oddly-colored. Forty years later, I can't grow hair on the top of my head but it sprouts thick and rich on my face. I could look just like All-Star Chase Utley.
The problem is that a successful hairstyle, one that I can retain despite the protests of family members, has to start with a famous ballplayer. If Chase Utley can't appear on TV every night between now and October, the Mutton Chop Revolution will stop in its tracks.
Chase, rehab that knee! I've been waiting forty years to be in style.
Or is it? Word from Florida is that Chase Utley might be headed for knee surgery. The Phillies without Chase Utley just won't be the same. His hits, home runs, and RBIs can possibly be replaced, but I will mostly miss his sideburns.
We all know that baseball players are hairstyle trend-setters. Bake McBride of the Phillies had one of the the first Afros back in the 70s. Al Hrabosky and Goose Gossage began the Fu Manchu mustache trend in the same era. Mike Schmidt and Greg Luzinski both adopted the fortunately short-lived male perm white guy Afro look. The Yankees' Thurman Munson was the first to sport mutton chop sideburns.
It's a new decade and it calls for a new hairstyle. The military crew cut is on its way out and the Justin Bieber front sweep hopefully will never catch on. I was really hoping that mutton chop sideburns would be the wave of the 2010s. Chase Utley was leading the charge. Over the past few years, Chase's sideburns worked their way down his cheeks. Surely, 2011 would see full-blown mutton chops on the Phillies second baseman.
The best part was that I can finally be in style. Back when Thurman Munson had his mutton chops, I was too young to grow good ones. My sideburns back then were sparse and oddly-colored. Forty years later, I can't grow hair on the top of my head but it sprouts thick and rich on my face. I could look just like All-Star Chase Utley.
The problem is that a successful hairstyle, one that I can retain despite the protests of family members, has to start with a famous ballplayer. If Chase Utley can't appear on TV every night between now and October, the Mutton Chop Revolution will stop in its tracks.
Chase, rehab that knee! I've been waiting forty years to be in style.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The Curse of the Gnome
This is the Golden Age of Philadelphia Phillies Fandom. With four consecutive Divisional Championships, one precious World Series win, and another World Series appearance, the recent past has been good. The future promises to be even better with a dominant pitching staff and key position players still in their prime for 2011.
Only one thing can halt the Phillies March to Glory - a jinx. The Red Sox suffered for 86 years after trading Babe Ruth. The Cubs have gone without a pennant for more than 100 years after refusing a fan's lucky pet goat entrance to their last World Series game. Now the Phillies are tempting a similar fate with, of all things, a garden gnome.
As a fundraiser, the Reading Phillies are auctioning off a 4 foot high concrete garden gnome modeled after Ryan Howard in his old Reading Phils uniform. The baseball gods will not look kindly on the arrogance of placing the graven image of one of the greatest Phillies of all time in a Berks County back yard where it will be subject to the weather and deposits from passing birds and dogs. Bobbleheads are bad enough, but this is sacrilege!
Eventually, the baseball gods forgave the Red Sox for trading away Babe Ruth. After all, the Sox owner used the money he got from the Yankees to back "No, No Nanette", the Broadway show that brought the song "Tea for Two" to the world. When more people were familiar "Tea for Two" than with Babe Ruth, they lifted the curse. The baseball gods continue to hold their grudge against those obstinate Cubs who still won't allow goats into Wrigley Field (though some of Wrigley's Bleacher Bums are probably more sanitary than the animals).
I fear that the Phillies will wander in the nether regions of the National League until that abominable Ryan Howard Gnome erodes into dust. Beware the Curse of the Gnome!
Only one thing can halt the Phillies March to Glory - a jinx. The Red Sox suffered for 86 years after trading Babe Ruth. The Cubs have gone without a pennant for more than 100 years after refusing a fan's lucky pet goat entrance to their last World Series game. Now the Phillies are tempting a similar fate with, of all things, a garden gnome.
As a fundraiser, the Reading Phillies are auctioning off a 4 foot high concrete garden gnome modeled after Ryan Howard in his old Reading Phils uniform. The baseball gods will not look kindly on the arrogance of placing the graven image of one of the greatest Phillies of all time in a Berks County back yard where it will be subject to the weather and deposits from passing birds and dogs. Bobbleheads are bad enough, but this is sacrilege!
Eventually, the baseball gods forgave the Red Sox for trading away Babe Ruth. After all, the Sox owner used the money he got from the Yankees to back "No, No Nanette", the Broadway show that brought the song "Tea for Two" to the world. When more people were familiar "Tea for Two" than with Babe Ruth, they lifted the curse. The baseball gods continue to hold their grudge against those obstinate Cubs who still won't allow goats into Wrigley Field (though some of Wrigley's Bleacher Bums are probably more sanitary than the animals).
I fear that the Phillies will wander in the nether regions of the National League until that abominable Ryan Howard Gnome erodes into dust. Beware the Curse of the Gnome!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Phillies Remorse
Baseball players have always been on the cutting edge of popular coiffure and facial hair styles.
We Phillies fans fondly(?) remember when Mike Schmidt and Greg Luzinski went with the permed white guy Afro look back in the late '70s. Al "The Mad Hungarian" Hrabosky and "Goose" Gossage pioneered the Fu-Manchu mustache during the same era. More recently, Philadelphia's Jimmy Rollins went with the Stevie Wonder beaded dreadlocks look. Raul Ibanez retained his "Mr Clean" shaved head, and Chase Utley went back in time for the Michael Douglas / Gordon Gecko slicked-back hair style.
One of the common reasons given for the Phillies failure to defeat the Giants this year was that our boys are aging and couldn't keep up with those young, aggressive San Franciscans. Is this reflected by a comparison of hair styles? Jimmy, Raul, and Chase are clearly living in the past as indicated by their coiffures. The Giants, on the other hand, have Tim Lincecum's shoulder-length hair with a Mary Tyler Moore-like "flip" on the end. Is this the cutting edge for 2010? The Giants' star relief pitcher, Brain Wilson, has a mohawk complemented by a full beard that he blackens with what appears to be shoe polish. Is this "the look" for the upcoming decade? Phillies-killer Cody Ransom has a shaved head but a well-trimmed beard at his jaw line. Again, is new hair / beard style ground being broken before our very eyes?
Should the Giants win the World Series, their youthful exuberance as reflected by the Mary Tyler Moore "flip", the mohawk / blackened beard, and the shaved head / jawline beard will be a big factor. The Phillies should take note, abandon their outmoded looks and get with the times. Our boys may not be young, but they can look young.
We Phillies fans fondly(?) remember when Mike Schmidt and Greg Luzinski went with the permed white guy Afro look back in the late '70s. Al "The Mad Hungarian" Hrabosky and "Goose" Gossage pioneered the Fu-Manchu mustache during the same era. More recently, Philadelphia's Jimmy Rollins went with the Stevie Wonder beaded dreadlocks look. Raul Ibanez retained his "Mr Clean" shaved head, and Chase Utley went back in time for the Michael Douglas / Gordon Gecko slicked-back hair style.
One of the common reasons given for the Phillies failure to defeat the Giants this year was that our boys are aging and couldn't keep up with those young, aggressive San Franciscans. Is this reflected by a comparison of hair styles? Jimmy, Raul, and Chase are clearly living in the past as indicated by their coiffures. The Giants, on the other hand, have Tim Lincecum's shoulder-length hair with a Mary Tyler Moore-like "flip" on the end. Is this the cutting edge for 2010? The Giants' star relief pitcher, Brain Wilson, has a mohawk complemented by a full beard that he blackens with what appears to be shoe polish. Is this "the look" for the upcoming decade? Phillies-killer Cody Ransom has a shaved head but a well-trimmed beard at his jaw line. Again, is new hair / beard style ground being broken before our very eyes?
Should the Giants win the World Series, their youthful exuberance as reflected by the Mary Tyler Moore "flip", the mohawk / blackened beard, and the shaved head / jawline beard will be a big factor. The Phillies should take note, abandon their outmoded looks and get with the times. Our boys may not be young, but they can look young.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Premature Indulgence
Last night was the 30th anniversary of the Phillies 1980 World Series win. The commentators mentioned this as the Phillies - Giants game dragged on for 3-1/2 hours. Hey, you've got to say something while the batter re-fastens his gloves for the third time and the pitcher stares in at the catcher longer (but less lovingly) than Kate Winslet gazed at Leonardo DiCaprio as he sank into the frigid North Atlantic.
Ah yes, I remember October 21, 1980 well. The Phillies had gone since 1915 without a championship at that point. There had been close calls in 1950, 1964, and the late '70s, but to no avail. Surely, they would find a way to break Phillies fans' hearts again. But the Phils had a lead! This could be it! Even though it was a Tuesday night, I had a celebratory drink. Then the Royals rallied. I had a drink to soften the blow of the inevitable collapse. But they held on! I had an anticipatory drink. Then the Royals put runners on base. I had yet another drink to calm my nerves. Finally, Tug McGraw struck out Willie Wilson and the Phillies were World Champions. If that doesn't call for a drink, what does?
Unfortunately, I was still hungover when the Phils had their Victory Parade two days later. "That's OK, There will be plenty more Phillies championships and I'll definitely make it to those parades."
Not exactly. I regretted my October 21, 1980 indulgence for 28 long years until the Phils finally won it again in 2008. Could nearly three decades of futility be punishment for my premature indulgence in 1980? I'm not taking any chances. This year, my liquid intake is limited to diet soda. Go, Phils!
Ah yes, I remember October 21, 1980 well. The Phillies had gone since 1915 without a championship at that point. There had been close calls in 1950, 1964, and the late '70s, but to no avail. Surely, they would find a way to break Phillies fans' hearts again. But the Phils had a lead! This could be it! Even though it was a Tuesday night, I had a celebratory drink. Then the Royals rallied. I had a drink to soften the blow of the inevitable collapse. But they held on! I had an anticipatory drink. Then the Royals put runners on base. I had yet another drink to calm my nerves. Finally, Tug McGraw struck out Willie Wilson and the Phillies were World Champions. If that doesn't call for a drink, what does?
Unfortunately, I was still hungover when the Phils had their Victory Parade two days later. "That's OK, There will be plenty more Phillies championships and I'll definitely make it to those parades."
Not exactly. I regretted my October 21, 1980 indulgence for 28 long years until the Phils finally won it again in 2008. Could nearly three decades of futility be punishment for my premature indulgence in 1980? I'm not taking any chances. This year, my liquid intake is limited to diet soda. Go, Phils!
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