The Curse of the Gnome

This is the Golden Age of Philadelphia Phillies Fandom. With four consecutive Divisional Championships, one precious World Series win, and another World Series appearance, the recent past has been good. The future promises to be even better with a dominant pitching staff and key position players still in their prime for 2011.

Only one thing can halt the Phillies March to Glory - a jinx. The Red Sox suffered for 86 years after trading Babe Ruth. The Cubs have gone without a pennant for more than 100 years after refusing a fan's lucky pet goat entrance to their last World Series game. Now the Phillies are tempting a similar fate with, of all things, a garden gnome.

As a fundraiser, the Reading Phillies are auctioning off a 4 foot high concrete garden gnome modeled after Ryan Howard in his old Reading Phils uniform. The baseball gods will not look kindly on the arrogance of placing the graven image of one of the greatest Phillies of all time in a Berks County back yard where it will be subject to the weather and deposits from passing birds and dogs. Bobbleheads are bad enough, but this is sacrilege!

Eventually, the baseball gods forgave the Red Sox for trading away Babe Ruth. After all, the Sox owner used the money he got from the Yankees to back "No, No Nanette", the Broadway show that brought the song "Tea for Two" to the world. When more people were familiar "Tea for Two" than with Babe Ruth, they lifted the curse. The baseball gods continue to hold their grudge against those obstinate Cubs who still won't allow goats into Wrigley Field (though some of Wrigley's Bleacher Bums are probably more sanitary than the animals).

I fear that the Phillies will wander in the nether regions of the National League until that abominable Ryan Howard Gnome erodes into dust. Beware the Curse of the Gnome!