A college Admissions Director's lot is not a happy one especially at this time of year. Acceptance letters are out and the heat is on to corral "the best freshman class ever". But what closing argument can an AD make to that all-star student whose parents are rich enough to donate a new Quadrangle (making the original one an Octagonal. Take that, Harvard!)?
The standard recruiting arguments have been done to death. "Every one of our pre-meds last year was accepted into Medical School (granted it was a Medical School in Honduras)." "None of our alumni who became a Fortune 500 CEO is currently in jail." "Our entire campus is on Wi-Fi now that we pirated coverage from the Starbucks down the street."
The sharper Admissions Directors will take a clue from today's news. Prince William and Kate Middleton made an appearance yesterday at their alma mater, St Andrew's University in Scotland. St Andrews' administrators noted that 10% of the undergraduate student relationships there result in marriage. Now, there is a killer recruiting argument. "We may be in a location where it rains or snows 90% of the academic year. Your child will be isolated on campus with zero social life outside our walls. But, due to this, your child will graduate with that sought-after MRS along with her AB! And maybe to a prince which is a lot better than to a wizard or a witch like at our rival Hogwarts."
That argument would close the deal for me. Any old college can offer gourmet dining options, a better-equipped gym than LA Fitness, or dorm suites more luxurious than the Ritz, but a shot at conjugal bliss with a prince (or a babe like Kate Middleton) would have me writing out tuition checks to your school.
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