Thursday, April 21, 2011

Aussie, Aussie, Oy, Oy, Oy

My beloved Lafayette Leopards announced their men's basketball recruiting class this week. Recruits hail from Missouri, Minnesota, Colorado, and Australia.

The lads from MO, MN, and CO will probably adjust easily to life in Easton, PA. Life isn't that much different east or west of the Mississippi. The Australian might have a problem. Imagine departing the Southern Hemisphere on a balmy September morning (Spring down under) having survived the antipodal Winter and arriving here just in time for a frosty Autumn and yet another Winter. Joe Australia will truly suffer through The Year Without a Summer.

Scandanavians are susceptible to Seasonal Affective Disorder. Exposure to only a few hours of mid-winter sunlight can lead to depression and alcoholism. Will Joe Australia descend into SAD?

As a loyal Leopard booster, I plan to save our Aussie by bringing a sunlamp to home games. Supposedly, UV light is an antidote for SAD even if artificial. The sunlamp might also prove an effective deterrent to opponent's free throw accuracy. I will also bring a case of Foster's to the games. If the sunlamp doesn't work, we can drown our sorrows. If it does, we can toast victory.

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