Speed Kills (But Not Always)

This week marked the one year anniversary of the Deepwater Horizon Disaster (Drill, Baby, Drill! The Blowout Preventer isn't working? Drill anyway!).

Americans vowed that we have learned our lesson. We must wean ourselves from our addiction to oil. On the other hand, what use is all that Gulf seafood if we can't fuel up our SUVs to go and buy it? Also, there must be beaches not soaked in oil somewhere. Let's fly to the Cote d'Azur. There are naked people there!

So one year after the biggest oil spill in US history, we are still gulping down that $4 per gallon gas. As a result, Exxon Mobil had nearly $11 billion in quarterly profits and all those Middle East dictators have plenty of money to buy weapons and to hire mercenaries to repress their populace.

Surely, the fine folks of Louisiana who took the brunt of the Deepwater Disaster have seen the light. Or maybe not. The Louisiana Department of Transportation raised the speed limit on portions of I-49 from 70 to 75 mph. The affected Interstate is in Evangeline and St Landry Parishes not 50 miles from the Gulf Coast. The tar balls are gone and it's time to par-tay!

DOT engineers conducted a traffic study and determined that 85% of travellers on I-49 were already speeding along at 75 mph or more. Since speed limits set lower than the 85th percentile of actual traffic can cause crashes (The little old lady motoring along at 45 mph in the passing lane is quite the hazard), DOT had no choice. Exxon Mobil and the Saudi royal family have a bright future.

The Chinese characters for disaster and opportunity are nearly identical. The Deepwater Disaster and Louisiana DOT's action create an opportunity for all of us. I plan to speed along Route 22 at 80 mph every chance I get. If everyone else does the same, we will get a nice gas-guzzling speed limit. If we also invest in Exxon stock, we will have enough money to pay for the additional fuel that we burn. It's a win-win.