Fear Factor

The people of Massachusetts have spoken and it is official, "The sky has fallen! Health care is dead. Obama and the Democrats have failed."

Jon Stewart anticipated this development on Monday's Daily Show. He stated, "George W. Bush never had as large a congressional majority as Obama and the Democrats will have even if they lose the Massachusetts seat and he was able to do whatever the (blank) he wanted."

But what did G.W. and the GOP have that Obama and the Dems don't? Fear! Scare the American public and you can get away with anything.

Saddam has weapons of mass destruction honed in on your child's school!

We have to tap your phones and computers (without a warrant) or the Taliban will make your wife wear a burkha!

If we don't keep those terrorists penned up in Guantanamo, they'll be planting IEDs under your Ford F-150.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Why not borrow a page from Karl Rove's book and produce a series of TV commercials that show typical American husband Harry coming home to his wife Louise:

Harry - "Well, they down-sized me today. I guess we knew it was coming. I'll get extended unemployment compensation and re-training compensation thanks to the Democrats. What worries me is that when the Company Health Care runs out, we'll have to buy our own and that'll run about $600 per month that we don't have. Still, Rush and the Republicans tell me that it's a small price to pay for the Best Health Care In The World, not to mention avoiding those Death Panels. I'd hate to have a bunch of liberal bureaucrats in Washington decide whether you live or die, Louise."

Louise - "I agree, Harry. It's a lot better to have a bunch of conservative bureaucrats at a for-profit Health Care company decide whether to grant coverage due to my pre-existing condition. We'll probably go bankrupt paying off my medical bills. We'll have to sell the house and live on the streets, but it's the American Way!

Play the Fear Card. It worked for G.W.

Joe "The Plumber" Limbaugh

Our boy Rush Limbaugh was hospitalized for chest pains last week. Rush reported, "They found absolutely nothing wrong. No arterial disease, no coronary disease whatsoever." He also managed some political commentary, "I don't think there's one thing wrong with our health care system."

Of course, the current health care system works for multi-millionaires like Rush. On the other hand, imagine if his identical twin, Joe "The Plumber" Limbaugh applied for health insurance today:

"Joe, I see that you just lost your job and no longer have health insurance. You had chest pains last week. That';s a pre-existing condition. Strike one! You're overweight and smoke cigars. That's strike two! You are a recovering Oxycontin addict. That's strike three! No health insurance for you, Mr Limbaugh, unless, of course, you're willing to pay more than $2,000 per month."

"On the other hand, if you can keep those chest pains at bay until you turn 65 and become eligible for Medicare, that horribly inefficient government-sponsored program will allow you to get treatment. We private insurers wish you well."

America needs to keep its political commentators healthy. A few plumbers more or less don't matter.

Benefit Changes

In an effort to recoup all those lobbying expenses against the Health Care Bill, Capital Blue Cross has done it again. Their annual letter thanking me for re-enrolling includes these "Benefit Changes" for 2010:

Emergency Room co-pay is increased to $100. "Honey! The power saw slipped and I just sliced off my arm! There's blood everywhere. I'm losing consciousness. Take me to the Emergency Room." "Hang in there, dear. I've got to go to the ATM and withdraw $100 first."

Coverage for flu vaccine is added. "Immerse your entire body in Purell before going to school, kids. Got to protect against that H1N1. I know it's a pain now, but after the New Year you can get a free flu shot."

Specialty medications for hemophilia will no longer be covered under my medical benefit. They will be covered only when ordered through the mail order specialty pharmacy vendor. "Dad! Anastasia cut herself and it won't stop bleeding!" "Quick, Alexandra, go on line and order the hemophilia meds. Better request overnight delivery. Little Anastasia is white as a sheet already."

But seriously folks...we Americans demand the best health care and expect someone else to pay for it. It is an untenable situation.

Laws and Sausages

Bismarck said, "You don't want to know what goes into the making of either laws or sausages."

The Iron Chancellor would be pleased (or perhaps appalled) that things haven't changed very much. The current issue of Time includes the following "Back & Forth" from the floor of the Senate as it debates the proposed Health Care Reform Bill.

Jon Kyl, Arizona Republican - "I don't need maternity care so requiring that to be in my insurance plan would would make my policy more expensive."

Debbie Stabenow, Michigan Democrat - "I think your mom probably needed it though."

So we've gone from "Death Panels" to abortion coverage to illegal immigrant eligibility to maternity care for males. One wonders how laws are ever passed what with 535 cooks stirring the pot and millions of dollars of potential "campaign contributions" on hold pending the outcome.

Yet, working within what appears to be a flawed system, our elected representatives have come up with civil rights, poverty relief, environmental, and labor legislation that gives us an equitable, free society. It's not all sawdust and entrails that go into the democratic sausage. Bismarck probably would be pleased.

Inartfully Worded

As the shock value recedes from "Death Panels For Granny" under the proposed National Health Care Plan, our watchdogs at the Republican National Committee are at it again.

A questionnaire accompanying a recent funding appeal says the government could check voters registration records "prompting fears that GOP voters might be discriminated against for medical treatment in a Democrat-imposed health care rationing system. Does this possibility concern you?"

D'uh, yes! Not only am I a grandparent, but I've voted Republican. "Young Mr Democrat, the doctor will see you in Examination Room 1. You, there, elderly Republican. The morgue is at the bottom of the stairs, first door on the right and don't bleed all over the floor on your way down!"

Katie Wright, a spokesperson for the Republican National Committee said the question was "inartfully worded. The RNC doesn't try to scare people. We're just trying to get the facts out on health care."

My dear Ms Wright, "inartfully worded" is "Actually, that dress does make your butt look fat, dear." It is thoughtless, but ultimately harmless.

"Don't count on health care if you've ever voted Republican" is beyond "inartfully worded". In fact, it's almost as good a scare tactic as the classic "Saddam is pointing Weapons of Mass Destruction at your street", not that you fine folks at the RNC would ever stoop to something like that.

It would appear that the "fact" that you're trying to get out on Health Care is that I'd best change my voters' registration to Democrat on my way to the Emergency Room. Somehow, I don't think that is what you were shooting for.

Shouts and Whimpers

Amid the shouts (Obama wants to euthanize Grandma!) and whimpers (Papua New Guinea has a lower infant mortality rate than Chicago!) arising from the current Health Care Debate, are two time-proven facts:

1. Health Care Programs will always change and not for the better.
2. People hate change.

In 1978, I endured a five day surgical hospital stay. My corporate medical coverage resulted in a whopping out-of-pocket cost of $10, $2 per day for the TV in my room. In 1988, I endured a 21 day surgical hospital stay. The same corporate medical coverage resulted in a $1,500 bill that had to be paid before I could be released from the tender mercies of the mean nurse/vampire who delighted in drawing blood from me while I slept. I tremble at what my out-of-pocket costs might be today.

What happened between 1978 and 1988? My corporation switched medical insurance carriers several times and with each "Employee Benefits Update", coverage decreased and my contribution increased. Change was invariably bad. I hate change.

The rationale for this is that medical costs increased as well. True enough. In 1978, you had to go to Geisinger in Danville for an MRI. By 1988, there were MRI machines on every other street corner. Those machines and the resulting improved diagnoses don't come cheap. Doesn't matter. Improved diagnostic tool change may be good, but paying for it is bad. I still hate change.

As a reasonable adult, I await the final version of the new Health Care Program before I bring flaming torches and pitchforks to my Congressman's next Town Hall Meeting. I know that change is inevitable. In my gut and based on my past experience, I also feel that this change will not be good. I hate change.