If anyone out there has a single Size 15 football shoe, contact Bret Favre c/o the Minnesota Vikings.
America's Favorite Quarterback suffered two mini-fractures in his left ankle last week and his Consecutive Games Started Streak that dates back to the Pleistocene Era is in jeopardy. According to Sports Radio, Bret feels that replacing his usual Size 14 cleat on the injured appendage with padding in the next larger size will allow him to lead the Vikings to victory this weekend. Fortunately, Bret hauls in some $10 million per year so it shouldn't be a financial burden to him to have unusable mates to the shoes that he actually wears.
Like most sports fanatics, I am a failed athlete. We all wonder why the Bret Favres of the world succeeded when we failed. In my case, a lack of speed, strength, depth perception, and hand-eye coordination probably had a lot to do with it. Now I know of another reason why I am not trotting onto the field to face the NY Jets next Sunday - my foot size. Bret Favre is an average size guy, not a whole lot bigger than I am, yet he has Size 14 feet compared to my pathetic Size 10-1/2s. That must make all the difference.
The biggest feet in recorded athletic history belonged to a 7 foot basketball player named Bob Lanier at Size 23. That made sense. Without a large base, Bob would topple over. I would look and run about as fast as like Ronald McDonald if I had Size 23 feet. But if I'd been blessed with Size 14s, maybe I could have had Bret Favre's gridiron career, not to mention those Wrangler Jeans commercials. It was never the speed, strength, or coordination. it was the foot size the whole time.
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