Our childhood dreams of a career as a cowboy or an astronaut are generally quashed by the time we reach puberty or encounter Algebra 1. We realize that companionship from the opposite gender is hard to come by on the prairie. So much for the cowboy life. Also, if we can't figure out that "Plane A leaves at 7 AM travelling at 500 mph and Plane B leaves at 8 AM travelling at 600 mph, when will Plane B pass Plane A?" thing, we will never pilot our capsule back to Earth from the moon. Astronaut is out, too.
I had always placed a career as a lumberjack in the same unattainable category. As much as I wanted to accompany the plaid-shirted guy on the Brawny paper towel packages wandering through the Forest Primeval singing, "I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK", there aren't a whole lot of primeval forests here in the Lehigh Valley and even if there were, where could I get a Real Lumberjack's Breakfast? Those tall timbers don't fall unless you are fueled by massive amounts of carbohydrates and protein.
Now there is hope. Subway currently offers a "Breakfast $5 foot-long". Paul Bunyan himself would have trouble polishing off a 12" breakfast sandwich. All I have to do to attain my lumberjacking dreams is don my Brawny Man plaid shirt, pick up my chain saw, and trot on over to Subway. Look out, redwoods!
There is one potential problem though. After a $5 foot-long Lumberjack's Breakfast, I'll need a nap for proper digestion. Those redwoods get a reprieve for now.
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