As I understand it, "rap" music began as the anguished cry of the oppressed against "the man". Today, of course, it has evolved into a semi-obscene call for sexual favors. How, then, are we to interpret the mini-rap that recently set the Sports World on its ear.
A bit of background. Possibly resulting from a mid-life crisis, star NFL quarterback Tom Brady abandoned his previously nondescript hair style for the forehead-concealing side sweep favored by much of today's youth. The true progenitor of this hairdo, Justin Bieber, sent a mini-rap in protest:
"Sacked like a sacker (Note the football reference. Justin may be Canadian but he's very cosmopolitan.)
Call up Mr Brady.
Tell him to link his hair
To the guy who sings Baby. (Referring, of course, to Justin himself)"
Perhaps, this was all in fun. Still, when a multi-millionaire teen heartthrob calls out a multi-millionaire athlete, it is news on many fronts, not the least of which are our outmoded copyright and trademark laws. Authors and music composers can copyright their work and demand royalties when others use it. Why can't Justin Bieber copyright his hairdo? Before Justin, only vain, balding men (Yes, I mean you, Donald Trump.) went with the side sweep. Now, it is everywhere, even on the head of an All-Pro quarterback. Doesn't Justin deserve something for his courageous pioneering effort?
The pop culture landscape is littered with the shattered dreams of former teen idols. Hansen is playing at Holiday Inns nowadays. Leif Garrett has been in and out of jail. Ten years from now, the Jonas Brothers will be appearing at a Church of the Nazarene near you. Although it is possible that "Baby" will become a royalty-generating classic like "White Christmas", Justin Bieber's best bet for a steady cash flow in his dotage is not his music, but his copyrighted hair style. As the years go by, male pattern baldness among today's youth will cause them to retain the Justin look and those royalties will just keep on coming. Justin can sit back and count his money.
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