Thirty years ago, our Lehigh Valley was a seething cauldron of machismo. By the sweat of our manly brows, we forged Bethlehem Steel and assembled Mack Trucks. Our high schools provided Mike Guman, Mike Hartenstine, and Keith Dorney to Joe Paterno's all-conquering Nittany Lions not to mention the Leiberman brothers, Cuvo, and Weaver to NCAA wrestling championships. On the professional side of things, we gave the world its heavyweight boxing champion in Larry Holmes and an auto racing legend in Mario Andretti. Steel, trucks, football, wrestling, boxing, and racing - if it dripped in testosterone, the Lehigh Valley excelled.
That was then. This is now. Casinos and "lifestyle" malls sit where Bethlehem Steel and Mack Trucks once did. Joe Paterno looks elsewhere for his gridders. NCAA wrestling champs come from Iowa. No one knows (or cares) who the current heavyweight champion is though I'm pretty sure he comes from Russia. The most famous race car driver in the world is a girl, for heaven's sake. The Lehigh Valley has lost its mojo.
There is hope! Joe Lehigh Valley may have lost his steelmaking, truck assembly, touchdown scoring, wrestling takedown, left jabbing, and lead-footing skills, but as long as there are funnel cakes, pierogies, and cheese steaks out there, Joe can eat with the best of them. TV's Food Network is featuring the Clinton Station Diner's 50-pound "Eighth Wonder" burger on an upcoming show. There's a $5,000 reward if a group of eleven can finish it off in less than an hour.
The true reward is not the $5,000. It's national respect. Come on, Lehigh Valley. Rise to the challenge. Consume that 50-pound hamburger. Regain our machismo. When America thinks of the Lehigh Valley, let's replace that depressing Billy Joel song with some hard core gluttony.
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