Scrapple in the White House

It has been a long time since Pennsylvania sent one of its native sons to the White House. James Buchanan was the last back in 1856. Jimbo presided over the Dred Scott Decision, the secession of six states, and the beginning of the siege of Fort Sumter. And this guy isn't on Mount Rushmore with a record like that?

Former Senator Rick Santorum looks to end the Keystone State's record of presidential futility. The Rickster called a New Hampshire radio station this week with a brilliant plan to save Social Security. Simply outlaw abortion. "One third of young people are not in America today because of abortion. We are depopulating this country. About 1.2 million abortions are performed in the US every year. If those people lived and each earned $60K per year, almost $10 billion would flow into the Social Security System every year."

That sounds great, Rick! By the time those 2.1 million new Americans are ready to cash in on their Social Security, all those 2012 New Hampshire voters will have gotten theirs and your two terms will be up. Let whoever is in charge in 2076 worry about it!

Not to confuse you with the facts (or spoil a great campaign sound bite), but Social Security paid out nearly $700 billion in benefits in 2010. $10 billion is a drop in the bucket. Also, it's unlikely that those unaborted folk will be earning $60K per year while in diapers. The effect on Social Security may be a few years down the road. Of course, we could also repeal those Child Labor Laws that hamstring US competitiveness in the global economy. Nike would make their running shoes right here in the US if we allow American kids to work for a dollar per day like they do in Bangladesh. And we would be saving Social Security at the same time.

Actually, child labor under sweatshop conditions is probably a non-starter. Those pesky Democrats would probably make a big campaign issue over the first thousand or so kids that die from inhaling sneaker glue fumes. So, the abortion abolition thing won't save Social Security for twenty years or more.

Here's a better idea sure to catapult you to the top of the GOP polls, Rick. Save Social Security by collecting it from illegal aliens. They are working here right now. Don't make them citizens or grant them work permits, of course. Keep them illegal. That way they can never collect benefits, but we sure can live high on the hog with what they pay in. There's a win - win.

I can see it now. A Pennsylvanian in the White House and the sweet smell of scrapple and funnel cake wafting along (appropraitely-named) Pennsylvania Avenue.