Having an engineer around the office at Christmas time is, in general, a good thing. Are half the lights not working on the office tree? Does your computer freeze up when you try to e-mail that hilarious video of a cat singing "Jingle Bells"? Does the office goes dark when you plug in the crock pots for the Holiday Brunch?
The engineer will come to your rescue. That nerdy guy with the bad haircut and questionable personal hygiene will make the holiday bright though you may have to suffer through his explanation of Ohm's Law and the superiority of stranded over solid copper wire. More efficient heat dissipation, you know. Just don't ask him to do any gift shopping. It is not in the engineer's DNA.
My first Christmas as an engineer in Corporate America proved this point. Our engineering group of eight was one of four on our floor. Each group had a secretary in those primitive times before voice mail, personal computers, and even fax machines. As Christmas approached, the secretary hit each of us up to contribute to a group gift to our boss. The day of the Department Christmas Party, we realized that we also had to come up with a gift for our secretary. The other groups had theirs neatly wrapped and labeled "Don't Open Until the Party".
In a panic, $5 (a princely sum in those days) was collected from each of us, and, as the junior guy, I was dispatched to make the purchase. The other groups had someone's wife do the buying, but we had no time. Now, engineers are nothing if not practical. Making work more efficient is what we do. If it was up to lawyers and accountants, office workers would still be using carbon paper and "White-Out". I bought Barbara a desk set with a leather-bound blotter and matching heavy-duty stapler and tape dispenser. Those company-issued desk supplies were crap. She would be the envy of her peers. I just knew it.
After lunch came the grand unveiling of the gifts. The bosses went first and unwrapped their gifts of golf-related items and expensive booze. The other secretaries then oohed and ahhed over their gifts of jewelry and costly perfumes. Our Barbara was somewhat underwhelmed with her desk set. In fact, she made a quick trip to the Ladies Room at that point accompanied by the other secretaries casting nasty glances at The Thoughtless Eight.
It may be a coincidence, but in subsequent years, Christmas gifting was changed to a Secret Santa basis. It defies the Laws of Probability, but we eight always were assigned each other while the secretaries were gifted by the boss or another secretary. In a way, this worked out great. We engineers were thrilled with our oh-so-practical miniature tool sets and drafting supplies. The secretaries also got what they wanted.
Speaking of coincidences, for a month or so after that Christmas, The Thoughtless Eight found those ubiquitous "While You Were Out" phone message slips written in shorthand. When we questioned Barbara about the contents of the message, she would reply, "You're the practical ones. You figure it out."
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