Friday, December 2, 2011

The Perfect Gift

Finding the perfect Christmas gift is a real challenge especially when it is a work group gift for a boss that no one particularly likes. Many a poor downtrodden secretary (or Admin Assistant in today's world) was handed $5 from everyone in the group and went insane choosing between another pen and pencil set that the boss would never use or a briefcase that he would never carry. Wasteful or not, the gift was absolutely required. Non-contributers might suffer the boss's wrath during Annual Performance Review. "You don't seem to be much of a team player, Bob. Let's add that to your Areas for Improvement."

Just in time for Christmas, this week's New Yorker carries an ad for the perfect boss's gift. It says, "Are you petite? Do you sit short? Miss all the action when you sit? Sitting Taller offers a fabulous booster in a slick handbag for adults or backpack for kids! Carry your height in a bag!"

What boss wouldn't love that? Studies prove that tall people are perceived as more commanding. When sitting tall (thanks to the booster) behind his desk, the boss can gaze imperiously over the heads of his minions. His words will sound like Moses on the mount no matter how foolish. When seated at the Executive Conference Table with his peers, his added height will add weight to his comments. "I always thought that Accounting Boss Smith was an idiot, but what he says sounds great."

So if you really want to rid yourself of a tyrannical boss, get him the Sitting Taller Booster in a Bag. He will be promoted out of your hair in no time. It's also cheaper than hiring a hit man.

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