Land Lines

Today's "Dilbert" shows the title character perusing a business card and stating, " Your home phone is a land line. That must come in handy when someone calls from 1993."

Wait a minute! I still have a land line and fondly remember 1993. Does this mean that I am less cool than Dilbert? Have I not kept up with the times? Have I become my stuck-in-the-past parents, incapable of programming a VCR, still banking at the teller's window instead of the ATM, still shopping at stores instead of on-line?

Well, Mister Dilbert, I'll have you know that I do, in fact, have a cell phone. Granted, I have no idea how to text message (those keys are so small). It probably isn't one of those cool phones that can take photos although it may be for all I know. I'm pretty sure it isn't one of those magic iPhones with "killer apps" that can direct me to the finest restaurants in San Francisco, make a reservation, and probably pay my bill. At least I don't have to worry whether I'm in a 3G or a 4G area whatever that means.

Actually, that whole 3G / 4G area thing is a concern. Based on the TV commercials, 3G is available pretty much everywhere east of the Mississippi except for a swath of West Virginia. Does this mean that land lines will eventually disappear and technophobes like me, incapable of adapting to the wireless world, will be herded into remote sections of the Mountaineer State to live out our miserable, Bluetooth-less lives?

Go ahead and play video games on your fancy cell phone, Dilbert! Download spread sheets and e-mail while you're at it. Just remember that while we technophobes are letting our land lines ring away, unanswered and unheard, as we hike the beautiful trails of "Almost Heaven", you can't walk away from pesky phone calls and e-mails. Who is the smart one now?