The Golden Age of Bert

Bert Blyleven was elected into the Baseball Hall of Fame yesterday.

Enjoy this shining moment all you Berts (and Burts) out there. The Golden Age of Berts is over, because there are no new Berts (or Burts) to replace you. Not that long ago, Burt Reynolds was selected "The Sexiest Man Alive". Burt Lancaster was the guy smooching Deborah Kerr awash in the Hawaiian surf in "From Here to Eternity". Bert Parks was singing "There She Is, Miss America" every year. And Bert Blyleven was winning twenty games for the Minnesota Twins. It was a great time to be a Bert.

Then "Sesame Street" came along. No parent would name their child Bert for fear of the inevitable playground taunt of "Hey, Bert, where's Ernie?" Parents feared that their little Bert would grow a unibrow, become a bottle cap collector, and adore pigeons. "Oh sure, there's a chance that my little one will become Movie Star Burt and race across America with Sally Field in tow in "Cannonball Run", but I can't risk his becoming TV Show Bert. All those pigeon droppings and scummy bottle caps would gross me out."

Now there are no Berts (or Burts) under the age of 40.

But is the Golden Age of Bert really over? It isn't Sesame Street Kyle, Josh, or Jared hauling in all those royalties from dolls, books, games, etc. Mock his unibrow, turtleneck, and vertically-striped sweater all you will, American parents. Bert is laughing all the way to the bank!