A Shortcut to Fame

They (whoever "they" are) say, "There is no shortcut to success."

American Idol appears to be a shortcut to fame as a recording artist. Carrie Underwood, Clay Aiken and Jennifer Hudson made it big after stints on "Idol". On the other hand, Taylor Hicks and Ruben Studdard won the thing and are now performing before Kiwanis meetings in obscure Iowa Holiday Inns. Surviving the slings and arrows of Simon's criticism is no guarantee of success.

For those unwilling to suffer through weeks of uncertainty as an "Idol" contestant, there is a one-shot chance to make a mark in the musical world (and win swell prizes!). Tomorrow, at the King of Prussia Mall outside Philly, The Ultimate Fan Singing Challenge will take place. Singers will perform their favorite Justin Bieber hit and be judged on vocal ability plus "the most "Bieber Fever". (Symptoms include forehead-obscuring hair flops and constant repetition of "Baby, Baby, Baby".)

The Philly Area winner will be entered into a national on-line competition to win a trip for four to the Los Angeles premiere of Justin's biographical movie, "Never Say Never" plus a meet-and-greet with Bieber himself.

OMG! Justin got his start as a You Tube sensation. This is my chance! Millions will vote in the Justin Contest and check out my video. All that stands between me and fame is an intense case of "Bieber Fever".

But how to catch "Bieber Fever"? I can catch Dengue Fever or Yellow Fever by being bitten by the tropical Dengue or Yellow mosquito. Obviously, I can catch "Bieber Fever" by being bitten by someone named Bieber. Justin, himself, is out of the question with his travel schedule and upstanding moral character. (He would never show favoritism by biting one fan to give him an advantage over others). Fortunately, the Lehigh Valley abounds in Biebers. They have their own bus line for Heaven's sake.

All I have to do to get my video before millions and achieve fame is to board a Bieber Bus and ask the driver to bite me. That is a whole lot easier than trying out for American Idol.

There is a shortcut to fame if you're clever enough to find it!