Remembrance of Things Past

The Traffic Guy on local TV Morning News spices up his segment with "Zany Facts". Some don't go well with one's coffee and bagel - "A Boston man keeps Giant Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches in his apartment as pets and Watchbeetles." Others allow for the snappy patter so typical of Morning News Teams - "Fraternal twins, a boy and a girl, have worn identical outfits for the past thirteen years." "That must have been a problem at Prom Time. Did they wear matching dresses or tuxedos? Ha-Ha-Ha."

Actually, that "Zany Fact" rekindled a sense of dread to those of us who were college students in the mid-60s. Contrary to the Woodstock and Animal House images of constant partying down, Lafayette College limited us to four "party weekends" per semester. The best way to insure a date for one of those precious weekends was to have a "steady". The proper care and maintenance of a "steady" required exchange of Valentine's, birthday, and Christmas gifts. The worst possible thing your "steady" could say prior to a gift exchanging occasion was, "Why don't we get each other Going Steady Sweaters?"

Boys' and girls' "Going Steady Sweaters" were identical in every way and tended toward the feminine in material (usually fuzzy), color (always pastel), and pattern (prominently featuring entwined hearts). As a guy, you prayed that those cursed sweaters would never be worn in public. Of course, wearing them at a fraternity party was begging for a beer bath and weeks of unceasing mockery.

I thought that I had successfully repressed this memory. Much as the scent of a madeleine led to Proust's "Remembrance of Things Past", a "Zany Fact" brought back all the humiliation and pain of The Going Steady Sweater Episode after 43 years. Thanks a lot, Traffic Guy.