Thursday, May 5, 2011

Backhanded Compliments

Backhanded compliments are sometimes endearing. "You are smart to do your laundry on a Saturday night when everyone else is out having a good time, dear." They are also sometimes mean-spirited. "In four years, your brother will be just another college graduate looking for a job, while you will be a McDonald's burger flipper with four years experience. Let's see them outsource that."

Express - Times reporter Kelly Huth experienced a backhanded compliment that might be endearing or, more likely, grounds for justifiable homicide. When she entered a local restaurant to participate in the on-going Cheesesteak Challenge Competition, a patron said, "Hey, I thought you'd be fatter." While not approaching the zenith of mean-spiritedness like the classic "Wow, for a fat girl, you sure don't sweat much", no jury, and especially no jury with female representation, would convict Kelly if she seized a meat cleaver and turned that loud-mouthed patron into steak tartare.

Violence is a desperate last resort however. The optimal response to a mean-spirited backhanded compliment is the snappy comeback. "At least I can put on my own shoes. When is the last time you even saw your feet, Chubb-O?" followed by "I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter." as you reach for the meat cleaver. Self-defense is always a good idea.

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