The National Football League lockout is very confusing to most fans. Professional football is the proverbial "goose that laid the golden egg". Both team owners and players are making tons of money while we fans are feeding the goose with $80 ticket prices and high TV ratings. Imagine the foie gras from that baby. Yum!
Pundits claim that the lockout is a battle over money between billionaires (owners) and millionaires (players). The inevitable result is even-higher ticket prices and more commercial breaks during telecasts. Instead of the current three plays, (commercial break), punt, (commercial break), inevitable punt return penalty, (commercial break), three plays, we are sure to see commercial breaks between plays and possibly while the punt is in the air.
This enticing possibility is why I am rooting for the owners in the NFL lockout. As a semi-incontinent (especially with a few beers in me) senior citizen, the more commercial / bathroom breaks during a game, the better. Is the lockout not a clash of billionaires vs. millionaires but truly a battle between the generations? "In this corner, with a prostate the size of a softball and bladder capacity measured in millililters, we have NFL owners and older fans. In the opposite corner sporting a jock strap, a protective cup, and a lace-up fly that takes 10 minutes to loosen and not having urinated since they woke up this morning because they don't have to, we have the NFL players and young fans."
Still, there must be a Point of Diminishing Returns. NFL telecasts cannot be 80% commercials / 20% action, can they?
Ponder this, Hockey and soccer have the fewest commercial interruptions of any televised sports and the lowest ratings. It is not like Wegman's sells out of wings and salsa for Stanley Cup or World Cup parties, but try getting a Giant Hoagie at the last minute on Super Bowl Sunday. More commercial breaks means more bathroom visits and more snacking opportunities.
Oh yeah, I'm rooting for the owners.
No comments:
Post a Comment