Sensible Shoes

Sometimes a random observation brings about a "Remembrance of Things Past". When Proust saw a certain pastry, it led to the aforementioned 3,000 page novel (Thank God that was never my Read Over Christmas Vacation For Extra Credit Assignment). When I watched the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show last night, it led to a flashback to my grade school days at James Monroe School, 1952 through 1959.

Each canine had his "star turn" last night. After being groped by the judge (Yes, there is a dog beneath all this carefully coiffed fur.), the camera would follow the pooch as he romped across the floor of Madison Square Garden led by a handler. Since the dog was the star, the screen showed only him plus the legs and feet of the handler. The female handlers invariably sported dowdy outfits and (Cue the Twilight Zone theme) sensible shoes.

It took me back to Miss Cloherty's 2nd grade class all over again. All my grade school teachers wore those laced-up, low-heeled oxfords. The conspiracy theorists among us just knew that these shoes were intended to inflict kicks on recalcitrant students. The teacher's pets responded that sensible shoes provided arch support and bunion relief. The debate was never settled.

Now, sixty years later, I have the answer. Clearly, our underpaid grade school teachers moonlighted as free-lance show dog handlers. They went directly from Monroe School to the local Dog Show Arena. There was no time to change shoes. Those laced-up, low-heeled oxfords enabled them to keep up with a prancing Fido rather than to chase after Class Clown Herbie Schuler when he urinated on the radiator.

Look out, Proust. I've got at least 3,000 pages worth of grade school stories now that I have the key to Remembrance of Things Past. I may have to come up with a different title though.