The Colossal Colon

In 1960, we 7th grade science students at South Scranton Junior High School eagerly anticipated a field trip to the Franklin Institute in Philly. The Institute offered a journey through the human heart. We could pretend we were corpuscles and literally walk through the auricles and ventricles, get "oxygenated", and get "pressurized". There was a cool "thump - thump" noise. It wasn't all that exciting by current standards, but for 1960, it beat watching black and white TV.

On a side note, the Franklin Institute also featured a computer that played Tic-Tac-Toe. The word was that the computer never lost. I fancied myself quite the Tic-Tac-Toe master in those days and was eager to challenge the machine which, by the way, was about the size of a fireplace and threw off as much heat. I lured the machine into the classic corners plus middle trap. I had two ways to win and Mister Roboto could only block one! I was about to strike a blow for humanity. Then I discovered why the machine was unbeaten. It wouldn't allow humans to to make the final victorious X. In essence, it picked up its ball and went home. Right then, I was convinced that this computer thing was a passing fad and a poor sport to boot.

A newspaper ad from Hunterdon Healthcare brought these memories back. "Take a Journey Through Your Colon", it headlined. "Come tour the Colossal Colon, an oversized model of the human colon that is 40 feet long. (Note to ad writers: If it's 40 feet long, stating that it is oversized is somewhat redundant) The Colossal Colon is designed to educate visitors about Crohn's Disease, diverticulitis, ulcerative colitis, cancerous and non-cancerous polyps, and various stages of colon cancer."

One imagines walking through a wrinkled pink cylinder (possibly with that cool thump-thump noise in the background), tripping over diverticuli, dodging polyps, and squeezing past tumors. It would be like an obstacle course. "Kevin, pretend that you are fecal matter. The record is 10.9 seconds through the Colossal Colon. Can you beat it?"

What 7th grader wouldn't love that? If that walk-through heart is still at the Franklin Institute, it can probably increase patronage by adding plaque build-up, etc. to make a journey through it a challenge. I wonder if the Tic-Tac-Toe computer is still undefeated, too.