Monday, February 1, 2010

A Boy Named Dwight

The big news from the Super Bowl today is an ankle injury to Colts defensive stalwart Dwight Freeney. The small army of correspondents covering The Big Game need something to write about to justify their presence in sunny South Florida as opposed to shivering through a February day up north. Today's sports sections are full of learned dissertations comparing electrical versus platelet therapy for ankle injury treatment. Will Dwight recover in time to face the Saints? Thousands of Super Bowl Office Pools hinge on the outcome.

Not to worry, Colts supporters. Mr Freeney has already overcome a greater obstacle - his name. Dwight is possibly the worst moniker with which one can be saddled. It is difficult to spell and subject to mispronunciation. With the popularity of "The Office", the most famous Dwight nowadays is office clown Dwight Schrute. President Eisenhower's first name was Dwight, but everyone called him Ike. Country singer Dwight Yoakum is not exactly a household name. Former Mets pitcher Dwight Gooden forsook incredible talent for a life of drugs and degradation. There are not a whole lot of role models named Dwight.

Yet, like Johnny Cash's Boy Named Sue, Freeney has overcome the taunts and ridicule due to his name and ascended to the very summit of gridiron glory. When he hears, "Hey Dwight, how's the beet farm outside Scranton?", he pummels the opposing quarterback. When the crowd chants ""Dee-White, Dee-Wig-It", he pass-rushes even harder.

Indeed, "Life ain't easy for a boy named Dwight", or Sue for that matter.

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