The upcoming census will no doubt result in Pennsylvania losing a Congressional seat or two as our population fails to keep out with burgeoning growth in the West and South. Keystone State politicos will lament this state of affairs noting reduced Federal influence and aid as we sink to the level of Wyoming and Delaware (though it may mean a Pennsylvanian as the next Vice President if form holds).
The Lehigh Valley has countered this trend. Some claim our increased population is due to those dreaded New Jersey transplants. I contend that it is due to local folk remaining in the area to avoid anti-"Dutch"itism elsewhere.
The sports results in today's newspaper include the Emmaus vs Salisbury high school rifle match. Emmaus' top scorers were Jared Strawdinger, Tyler Greaser, and Anthony Reichenderfer. Such names cause barely a ripple here the Lehigh Valley where Heffelfingers, Warmkessels, and Sauerzopfs abound, but imagine Jared, Tyler, and Anthony in Army Basic Training. Their Drill Instructor will be unable to pronounce their names and their fellow trainees will bestow uncomplimentary nicknames on them - "Ding Dong" Strawdinger, "Goose" Greaser, or "Derfie" Reichenderfer.
After suffering this humiliation are Jared, Tyler, and Anthony going to tarry in the sunny climes of Ft Jackson, SC? No, it's back to The Land of Fastnachts and Funnel Cakes to set down roots among the Shankweilers and Lindenmoyers! Anti-"Dutch"itism hurts!
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