For more than 100 years, Pasadena, CA has held the Tournament of Roses Parade and reaped the benefits of tourist dollars. As we are constantly reminded during the telecast, every square inch of every float must be covered with vegetative matter, most of it locally grown, providing an even greater impetus to the local economy.
It's time for the Lehigh Valley to initiate our very own New Year's traditions, sparking tourism while bringing our local products national attention.
Easton could begin a Tournament of Crayons Parade at Center Square, each float covered with colorful wax. The Tournament Queen and her Court need not be limited to fresh-faced youth as in Pasadena. A few dabs of Crayola here and there will allow local matrons to maintain that youthful glow for the cameras. There's no age discrimination at the confluence of the Delaware and Lehigh!
Bethlehem missed its chance for the Tournament of Steel. The Kremlin's May Day Parades of armored vehicles would pale in comparison to whimsical floats plated in good old Bethlehem steel if it were still made here. The Christmas City could now sponsor the Tournament of Casinos Parade. Floats would glisten with multi-colored casino chips wetted with the tears of despondent gamblers. The Tournament Queen and her Court would be casino waitresses offering free drinks to the "high rollers" lining the parade route.
Allentown, as the capital of Pennsylvania Dutch culture, could capitalize on its heritage with the Tournament of Fastnachts Parade. Each float would be drawn by a team of groundhogs and be covered entirely by lard-fried potato doughnuts. Multi-colored powdered sugar would allow float designers' imagination to soar. January weather wouldn't impact these beauties. Fastnachts are rock-like even at room temperature.
The Fastnacht Tournament Queen could be chosen by a competitive eating contest. The candidate consuming the most fastnachts in ten minutes (washed down with A-Treat soda, of course) would gain not only the coveted Funnel Cake Tiara but a complimentary stomach pump at Lehigh Valley Hospital - Cedar Crest.
Look out Pasadena, here comes the Lehigh Valley!
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