Percy and Plagiarism

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery - especially when said imitation is just different enough to avoid plagiarism.

"Percy Jackson and the Olympians" comes to a movie theater near you on Presidents' Weekend. Sadly, it is not the story of a luger with a funny name and his quest for a gold medal at Vancouver. (Isn't "luge" a fun word to pronounce? Your lu-u-uge awaits, Sir. That's the biggest luge I've ever seen. Alas, we only get to say "luge" every four years at the Olympics)

Although "Percy" is based on a series of books, its television trailer makes it appear like a Hollywood rip-off of Harry Potter. One imagines the brainstorming session at the studio:

"There hasn't been a Harry Potter or a High School Musical movie for a while. Let's combine the two and release them this winter.

We'll give the hero a vaguely British-sounding name. Percy is good. He'll have to be better-looking than Daniel Radcliffe though. Let's find a Zac Efron look-alike. His gal pal will have to be a bit more of a babe than Hermione though and look like Vanessa Hudgins. For his guy pal, we need to go with a wise-cracking black kid. This is post-racial America after all.

Now we need a plot. Witches, wizards, and warlocks has been done to death and also might bring J.K. Rowling's lawyers across the Atlantic in a heartbeat. How about ancient Greek gods? It's not like Homer has a copyright on those guys. I've got it! Percy is the orphaned son of Poseidon and is being pursued by the gods because they think he stole Zeus' thunderbolt. Percy uncovers his powers with the help of a kindly mentor named Dumbeldore.

No! The Richest Woman in England Except for the Queen will sue us for sure. Let's make the mentor a minor god, but not a wizard. He has got to have an accent though. We can cast Pierce Brosnan in the role. After "Mama Mia" and his attempt at singing, he needs the work.

The kids will set out on a quest to retrieve Zeus' bolt and, despite all odds, succeed though neither humans nor gods fully understand them leaving the field open for sequels if this thing works. We end it with a lavish musical number featuring gods and humans singing, "We're all in this together."

No! Disney will sue us for sure. Scratch the closing number.

It's not exactly plagiarism, but it is its first cousin.