The newspaper article began, "Vehement protests by animal rights activists prompted scientists to temporarily stop an avalanche experiment that involved burying pigs in snow and monitoring their deaths." As a fan of The Muppet Show and its "Pigs In Space!" segment, I would be picketing those scientists as well. This is beyond the the evil imagination of "Pigs In Space!" scientist Dr Strangepork.
The article continues, "Hermann Brugger, co-director of the experiment, asserted that the pigs didn't suffer because they were sedated and given an anesthetic beforehand." For a true comparison to humans caught in an avalanche, Hank should sedate and anesthetize the pigs with the same stuff that Alpine humans have imbibed for years before venturing outdoors in winter. Let's add some schnapps to the pigs' slop. Liquid courage never fails.
The article closes, "Brugger said the study could help humans survive an avalanche and that stopping now would mean that those pigs that already died did so in vain." Or did they? My guess is that the Brugger family pantry is well-stocked with frozen hams and pork sausages. Frau Brugger is no doubt relieved that her husband, the Professor decided to experiment on pigs as opposed to rats. She is recommending that Herr Brugger's next experiment determine the avalanche survival rate for lobsters.
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