Friday, February 5, 2010

Home Defense

Sporting goods superstore Cabela's offers its Shooting Sports Extravaganza this weekend. There will be seminars, special deals, demos, and new products. Foremost among these is the Remington Home/Field Shotgun offered at a mere $379 and featuring the interchangeable 26" field barrel and the "home defense barrel".

The 26" field barrel is just the thing for putting meat on the table. If Bambi, Thumper, or Daffy are foolish to stray within 100 yards or so, even Elmer Fudd can't miss with the "field" version of the Remington weapon. It will accurately deliver buckshot in a nice small pattern and do everything short of placing the meat on the grill.

The "home defense" version is somewhat more controversial. In essence, it makes the Remington a "sawed-off" shotgun. When fired, it will obliterate everything in front of it in a hail of pellets. We loved our "short barrel" shotguns in Viet Nam. No need to aim, just fire and any living thing within 20 feet or so disappeared. It was such a disappointment when we came back to the States and found that "sawed-off" shotguns were illegal, a bitter remnant of the Gang Wars during Prohibition when innocent bystanders were cut down during fire fights.

That was then. This is now. What with Gitmo closing down and terrorists coming to the USA for trial, I, for one, need to defend my home with an aiming-optional, incredibly inaccurate weapon. Remington's lawyers probably forced them to name it "home defense" as opposed to "actually illegal sawed-off". But we know what it really is. What Super Bowl Party guest would not be impressed when I say, "Wanna hold my sawed-off shotgun? These babies have been illegal for 70 years."

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