The Better Mousetrap

"If you build a better mousetrap, the world will beat a path to your door."

Bill Gates was a Harvard dropout with a bad haircut. Then, he developed the Windows System that enabled even Grandma to get on-line (Grandma could never have handled COBOL). Today, he still has the bad haircut along with billions of dollars.

I, too, have a bad haircut. What I need is a "better mousetrap" idea like Bill Gates' Windows. How about a tech-ready trench coat designed to replace airline luggage? No more long waits at the baggage carousel! No more excessive checked luggage fees!

Alas, someone beat me to it. The Scottevest Carry-On Coat (retailing at a mere $225) has 33 pockets specially designed for a pair of shoes, folded clothing, a tablet computer, and even a TSA-compliant compartment for liquids. Delta Airlines noticed this threat to their lucrative checked luggage income. They refused a Scottevest ad for their in-flight magazine.

Of course, there were those who thought that the Edsel, Betamax, and New Coke were the "better mousetrap" and where are they today? The Scottevest will likely fail for the same reason that we would rather watch football than hockey on TV. Hockey is faster, more violent, and doesn't stop for huddles and/or commercial breaks every 30 seconds. But hockey players look dorky. Nobody looks good in a bad helmet, a jersey drooping down over padded shorts and bulky kneesocks. Football players look cool in space-age helmets, tight jerseys over shoulder pads that hide even the worst gut and painted-on pants. We would rather watch (and imagine ourselves as) the cool guys and put up with only five minutes of action in an hour of game time.

We will not look cool with a pair of shoes, folded-up clothing, and a tablet computer concealed inside a trench coat. We will look fat (or even like very inept shoplifters). Nobody wants to look fat. The Scottevest is destined to fail.

So "the better mousetrap" continues to elude me. I remain poor. Maybe Bill Gates will sponsor relief for Bad Haircut Guys along with malaria sufferers.