We're All In This Together

The old song goes, "Breaking up is hard to do." Apparently, it is less hard to do just before Christmas. You do save on gifts for your formerly beloved.

This week, Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansen called it quits. When "The Sexiest Man Alive" and #14 on Maxim's "2010 Hot 100" got together, we knew that it couldn't last. Ken and Barbie are the only mutually hot couple to stick together over the years.

Also this week, Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter split up. Again, we doubted the longevity of this relationship. How creepy must it be on the set of "Dexter" when you inamorata is playing your sister? On the other hand, how creepy must it be on the set of "Dexter" when your bitter ex-wife / ex-husband is playing your sister / brother?

One break-up this week was greeted with shock and awe. Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgins of "High School Musical" fame ended their romantic relationship. The only bright spot of suffering through repeated viewings of the "High School Musical" trilogy when the grandkids visited was watching the flowering of Zac and Vanessa's squeaky-clean, All-American relationship. This was the diametric opposite of Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thornton creepily carrying vials of each other's blood around. Surely, Zac and Vanessa would lead 21st century American youth back to a 1950s sensibility. They would be married, settle in suburbia, mop the floor wearing heels and a pearl necklace, and have a spirited younger son nicknamed "Beaver". Their TV show theme song could be "We're All In This Together".

Alas, it was not meant to be. Could the true reason for the breakup be that Zac's solo movie career flopped and that Vanessa hasn't been heard from since "HSM3"? Could it be that neither Zac nor Vanessa could afford a proper Christmas gift for the other and to avoid breaking their beloved's heart, nobly ended the relationship?

I call on all Americans to purchase mass quantities of "High School Musical" merchandise. Zac and Vanessa will get a cut of the proceeds, restore their finances, and no doubt, get back together. We owe it to the impressionable youth who grew up with "High School Musical" and now wonder if true love is possible in 2010!