News Flash - McDonald's will add oatmeal to its breakfast menu next year. And it's not just any oatmeal. All that dietary fiber is jazzed up with maple-flavoring, diced red and green apples (how festive), a mix of raisins and cranberries, and doused in cream. Tasty dietary fiber? Yum! The only downside are the lines of anxious patrons outside McDonald's rest rooms when that fiber hits bottom.
Call me a traditionalist, but I wonder if McDonald's oatmeal breakfast will be a hit. My fondest breakfast memories are courtesy of the US Army. It was not the bugle call of reveille that roused us from our bunks before the crack of dawn but the wafting odor of good old breakfast grease from the Mess Hall. Everything in an Army breakfast was fried - pancakes, eggs, SOS and probably even coffee. That cholesterol richness was what fueled us to storm the beaches of Normandy.
But where did the Army get all that good cooking grease? There were two garbage cans into which we scraped off our dining trays, one labelled "Edible" the other "Non-Edible". The surly Mess Sergeant insisted that the congealed grease on our trays mixed with ketchup and God knows what else be deposited in the 'Edible" can. The contents of the "Non-Edible" can were disposed of, but the "Edible" can disappeared back into the kitchen and returned empty at the next meal. Were we recycling grease with tasty additions for each iteration? Did today's breakfast grease date back to Valley Forge? All I know is that Army fried foods tasted like no other.
To insure the success of its oatmeal breakfast offering, McDonald's should add a touch of well-aged grease along with the apples, cranberries, raisins, etc. "Beef, it's what's for dinner" is not always true. "Grease, it's what's for breakfast" is tradition.
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