Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Career Guidance

Thousands of Liberal Arts majors entered the work force after college commencement this spring. Despite their creativity and writing skills, jobs are hard to find. Perhaps it is time to "think outside the box" and consider a career in the over-the-counter pharmaceutical industry.

OTC drugs are not regulated by the FDA. Drug labels can make any claim they want and get away with it. A Liberal Arts major with a creative writing bent was probably responsible for the statement on my Fish Oil capsule bottle that the enclosed product "may reduce coronary heart disease risk" (or, then again, it may not). The label further claims that it "comes from deep ocean waters. Our fish oil is not supplied from farm-raised fish." (Aargh, it's off to the deep ocean waters, matey. We seek the oiliest fish. We will pass up that farm by the shore and anchor by that Deepwater Horizon in the Gulf.)

The Liberal Arts major might have needed some help from a engineer to write, "State of the art molecular distillation is used to remove PCBs, dioxin, and turane which guarantees purity and potency." (So we have state of the art molecular distillation on our fish oil capsules while we can't kill off the e-coli on bean sprouts in Europe?)

The finest example of the creative writer's craft is the claim that these fish oil capsules are "burp-less". (I certainly will not purchase fish oil that causes me to belch anchovy breath in public. Give me the burp-less stuff.)

If you Liberal Arts majors seek gainful employment, retain your creative writing skills, but leave your conscience at the corporate door.

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