"They tried to make me go to rehab, I said no-no-no," sang Amy Winehouse a couple of years ago. Amy actually did go to rehab eventually as did Lindsay Lohan and many other celebs. How can one convince a wealthy celebrity to suffer the agonies of rehabilitation? After all, being rich and famous should allow one to screw up her life.
The answer may lie right here in the Lehigh Valley. Two months ago, Bethlehem police recovered an alligator near Monocacy Creek. It was "strapped with a dog harness and its mouth was taped shut before it was taken to a holding cell at the police station" according to news reports. Apparently, there is a Reptile Epidemic in the Christmas City. Last week, a 3 foot long gator was plucked from the same creek. This time, Bethlehem police transported the reptile to a facility in the Poconos for "rehabilitation".
What is the message here for Christmas City substance abusers? If you are arrested by Bethlehem's Finest, you must choose between time in a holding cell with a live and by now very hungry alligator or, if you can afford it, a rehab stint in the Poconos still with a gator but one who is "rehabilitated". I know the choice I would make.
Amy Winehouse and Lindsay Lohan have gone in and out of rehab several times. Perhaps authorities in London (for Amy) and Los Angeles (for Lindsay) should follow the "scared straight" tactics used in Bethlehem and use man-eating reptiles to make rehab stick.
"They tried to make me go to rehab. I said better than being eaten by a gator in a holding cell. Yes -yes-yes."
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