Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Sequel Mania

Why would anyone pay $9 or more to see a first-run movie when you can wait a few weeks and catch it on Video On Demand or on Blu-Ray at home? The popcorn is a lot cheaper and you can make rude remarks without getting nasty looks from that weird guy in the back row wearing a raincoat.

Hollywood has discovered the answer. Make sequels. "Pirates of the Caribbean 4" posted $950 billion in world-wide earnings this spring placing it #10 all-time in box office receipts (Take that, "Citizen Kane") and #1 for a movie based on a ride at Disney World trouncing "Mr Toad's Wild Ride - The Movie".

POTC 4's record may soon be surpassed with the release of "Transformers 3 - The Dark of the Moon". The "Transformers" franchise has out-performed the other kid's toy based movies like "GI Joe - When Kung Fu Grip Isn't Enough" and "Slinky's Apocalypse Now". What 13 year old boy won't squander his allowance to be the first kid in his class to thrill to giant robots destroying major world cities while a scantily-clad Megan Fox runs in terror?

But that's the potential problem with "Transformers 3". Megan Fox is not in it. She started filming, but, according to Director Michael Bay, "She spent most of her time on her Blackberry. She seemed like an actress who didn't want to be a part of it." Oh, by the way, Megan also compared Mr Bay to Hitler in an interview during filming.

Megan, Megan, Megan...Johnny Depp can get away with dissing the director of his movie franchise. It's not like there are a whole lot of actors out there who can pull off Captain Jack Sparrow (unless they're on some serious drugs anyway). But with good implants (dental and otherwise) and a few months of Pilates almost any 25 year old girl can bounce across the screen and ignite the hormones (and loosen the wallets) of the male teen cinema viewing public.

Megan Fox or no Megan Fox, it is likely that "Transformers 3" will last longer in theaters than that other kid's toy based blockbuster "Hula Hoop - The Lord of the Rings".

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