Monday, August 10, 2009

Roswell Confidential

Nature provides hints to its mysteries in strange and obscure ways. Sir Isaac Newton observed a falling apple and discovered gravity. Arlen Spector was on some heavy-duty drugs and derived the "Magic Bullet Theory" for the Kennedy assassination.

Today, I watched a TV commercial and figured out what really was found at Roswell, NM back in '47. The perky announcer chided viewers for their reluctance to learn a new language. "With Rosetta Stone software, it's quick and easy. Our software is used by:

The State Department (Makes sense. Those State Department people talk to a lot of them foreigners though the least those people could do is learn to speak good old American English),

The CIA (Makes sense again. Spying must be a whole lot easier if you speak the language)

And NASA. (OMG!!! Why would NASA employees need a second language unless we need to communicate with space aliens? Which language would it be - Romulan or Klingon? Was the "Rosetta Stone" for alien language truly what was found on that "weather balloon wreckage" in Roswell back in '47 and it took until we Earthlings developed personal computers to decipher it? When I send in my $19.95 (includes postage and handling), will I be the first on my block able to communicate with those space aliens when they return to Earth? This offer doesn't even need a "but wait, there's more" bonus. My check is in the mail.)

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