Friday, August 14, 2009

The Scientific Method

The current issue of "Time" explores the controversial theory that exercise alone does not result in weight loss. Apparently, exercisers tend to overindulge in calorie-laden foods. Time's cover shows a young lady on a treadmill slathering over a pastry. A trip to Dunkin' Donuts after that gym session is no way to get into swimsuit shape, Missy!

The Scientific Method requires that theories, whether advocated by a prominent national magazine or not, be tested. To validate the "Exercise Makes You Fat" Theory, we need controlled conditions. It's easy enough to set up treadmill sessions to burn a given number of calories on test subjects of varying body masses. The problem is that everyone has different tastes in the "empty" calories to be consumed afterwards. There are glazed donut people, Twinkie people, and probably even Pixie Stick people. Never the twain shall meet.

Fortunately, Domino's Pizza solved the Empty Calorie Enigma. For a limited time, Domino's offers its Bread Bowl Pasta (Carb Heaven! Pasta in cream sauce in a bread bowl) with Lava Crunch Cake (Chocolate cake encasing what appears to be chocolate chunky pudding) for a low, low price. And they deliver! Maybe even to gyms! What better way to prove (or refute) Time's claims than by munching your way through Empty Calorie Heaven right after your workout.

Sign me up for the Test Group. Science has never been so much fun.

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