Jerseys

Forbes Magazine reports that the best-selling sports jersey this year is that of the Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo. The survey includes all sports, so Tony not only beats out fellow gridders like Bret Favre and Ben Roethlisberger, but basketball icons like Kobe and Lebron and even baseball stars like A-Rod and Derek Jeter.

How can this be? It's not like Tony Romo does lots of commercials like Favre or won the latest Super Bowl like Big Ben. What with the helmet and pads, we 're not even sure what Tony looks like whereas most sports fans would recognize Kobe, Lebron, A-Rod, or Derek if they walked up to them at the Lehigh Valley Mall.

The answer must lie with Tony's former main squeeze, Jessica Simpson. There must be plenty of lonely guys out there hoping against hope to encounter Jessica one day when she's not wearing her contact lenses. "Tony! You've gotten chubby, short, and bald, but I'd recognize that Cowboys jersey anywhere. Let me slip on my Daisy Dukes and we'll relive old times!"

Other than that, I can see no reason to wear a team jersey with an athlete's name on the back. Most jersey-wearers are kids. Is the youth of America playing a prank on us? "Yes, I am Kobe Bryant as you can plainly see by my Lakers jersey. Everyone tells me I'm much shorter, younger, and paler in real life."