Among the manly items advertised during World Series telecasts is the Lithium Ion Drill. The only thing that could make it more macho would be if it were "turbo" or "hemi". My testosterone level peaks whenever I hear those adjectives.
According to the commercial, I can return my old, outmoded drill to Home Depot and get a big discount on this wave of the future device. Star Trek fans may recall that it was dilithium crystals that powered the Starship Enterprise. A Lithium Ion Drill sounds like something that Captain Kirk might use to beat back a Klingon attack. How can simple household repair tasks stand up to The Power of Lithium?
Along with Space Age power, the Lithium Ion Drill must be incredibly precise. High school chemistry tells us that the lithium ion (Atomic Number 3) is smaller than any known material save the hydrogen and helium ions. Any old drill can handle carbon, sulfur, or chromium. It takes incredible precision to drill those lithium ions!
Don't tell the Iranians, but all that uranium enrichment that they are doing is so 20th century. The thing to do is to take the lithium ions from these drills (available at your friendly neighborhood Home Depot), join them together into dilithium crystals, and use those to power phasers and even photon torpedoes. Hey, it worked for Captain Kirk.
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