Sidebar ads in "The New Yorker" include pretentious clothing "Cashmere Watch Caps", jewelry "Your anniversary date in Roman numerals!", and, surprisingly, legal help for immigrants "Green Cards, Deportation, Criminal Aliens. We handle it all.".
Then there is Art Glass Memorials advertising "Dramatic and unique handblown glass cremation urns." The ad includes a photo of a yellow and red bird-shaped container that appears to be just the thing for one caught up in the Phoenix Myth. But what would be the appropriate occasion to give a cremation urn to a loved one?
"Sorry, Gramps. The hospital gift shop was fresh out of flowers and balloons, but here's a dramatic cremation urn to brighten up your room."
"Happy birthday, Grandma! I know that you always appreciate practical gifts, so here's a unique cremation urn. You've got to admit it's something you'll need eventually unlike those cross-country skis I got you last year."
Happy anniversary, dear. This year, I decided to give you this lovely cremation urn. Oh look! It's wrapped in a life insurance application form with me listed as your beneficiary!"
Let's face it. There is no appropriate occasion for the gift of a cremation urn, dramatic and unique though it may be.
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