Imagine the improved efficiency in our society if everyone had an easy-to-spell name. Ed Wolczimienski, a childhood neighbor, always used the pseudonym "Ed Smith" when telephoning the doctor, pharmacy, or pizza delivery. The pizza would be cold by the time Domino's figured out how to spell Wolczimienski.
I have spent many a frustrating moment on the phone explaining, "No it's not Duston. It's D-U-F as in Frank-T-O-N." Often, the phonetic spelling doesn't work anyway and the more-alert UPS guys will take back the package, "This is addressed to Duston and you're signing Dufton."
Why then would parents spell their children's first names in an unusual manner? High school girl soccer stars written up in today's paper include:
Tiffani - OK, the old "i" for "y" switcheroo has been going on forever. Would "Linda" Carter have been half as impressive a Wonder Woman as "Lynda" Carter?
Jacelin - I'm not even sure how to pronounce, let alone spell this one.
Aislinn - No, it's not Aslan like the Lion, it's Aislinn with two "n"s. The medical office receptonist is sure to screw this one up.
Ellisabeth - This might be a problem for a first grade teacher trying to fill out her class roll. "Is that Elizabeth like the queen?" No. "How about Elisabeth like the irritating co-host on "The View"? No. "Oh, let's just call you Liz."
Of course, unconventional name spelling has been with us forever. Even the ultra-simple "Ed" was once spelled "Edd" by the immortal Edd "Kookie" Burns, star of '50s television. Perhaps, Tiffani, Jacelin, Aislinn, and Ellisabeth will also use their names as vehicles to stardom.
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