Last night, I saw a TV commercial touting "Gluttony Night" at the Reading Phillies. For a mere $15, attendees at a mid-week game get all the hamburgers, hot dogs, pizza, and, get this, funnel cake (!) they can eat. "Now, Josh, your Dad paid 15 whole dollars to get you into this game and you've only eaten five funnel cakes. You have to eat two and a half more before we break even. I want to see that powdered sugar flying."
Leave it to a minor league baseball team's promotions department to come up with a unique (and might I add area-appropriate) idea. After all, give aways have been done to death what with Bat Day, Hat Night, Bobble Head Day and the like. They are running out of ethnic groups to honor. "Monday night is Irish-American Night at the Phillies featuring step dancers and aggressive drunks clustered around the beer stands. Tuesday Night is Mohican Indian Night. Any fan accompanied by a full-blooded Mohican Indian gets free admission to the game and a copy of the best-selling book, "OK, So There Were A Few Mohicans Left And They Opened A Casino, So What? Ever Heard Of Literary License, Smart Guy!" by James Fenimore Cooper III.
Why not have Seven Deadly Sins promotions at the ballpark through the season? The Reading Phillies already figured out the promotion for "gluttony". "Sloth" might be fun. Attendees in a special sloth section of the ballpark would be literally fastened to their seats. Trays of piping hot funnel cake and french fries would be passed beneath their noses, but if you chomp down, you lose. They would be allowed to sip unlimited amounts of soda through a straw, but if they get up for a potty break, it's all over. The surviving contestant would win an all-expenses paid trip to the Amazon basin to hang out with real sloths.
Two down, five to go! To be continued...
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