We aging athletes face a dilemma. We still desire the thrill of victory but our aching joints lead only to the agony of defeat. For every Jamie Moyer pitching a shutout at age 47, there is a Tiger Woods bailing out of a golf tournament with a stiff neck. Surely, there is a competition in which we can still excel.
Our Canadian friends may have discovered the answer. Toronto recently hosted The World-Wide Rock, Paper, Scissors Championship, Apparently, there is not much else to do during those long winters north of the border if you can't skate and have a healthy fear of frozen rubber discs hurtling toward your face at 100 mph.
The winner, a 62 year old Canadian, revealed his secrets of success:
Young males prefer to go "rock". Respond first with "paper".
No one ever goes with the same "throw" three times in a row.
Watch for "tell-tales" in hand position during the "1 - 2 - 3". Like poker layers reading opponent's eyes or body language, the best R-P-Sers study opponents hands for a tell-tale clench that implies an upcoming rock, finger extension for scissors or palm flattening for paper.
Now, R-P-S may not do much for cardiovascular fitness, but it requires neither expensive equipment nor club memberships. It is certainly a "lifetime sport". A potential problem is "R-P-S Shoulder", a stiffening of that joint due to repetitive use, but true aficionados can "play through the pain" or switch to their left arm.
All in all, it's R-P-S for me.
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