Syrup Footprint

I have a love / hate relationship with pancakes. The Army cooks I served with never quite got the hang of eliminating lumps in the batter. Fluffy goodness was ruined by granular solids mid-chew. Fortunately, a strong infusion of syrup made it all palatable. It's likely that my "syrup footprint" is a contributor to global warming though. How many maple trees had to sacrifice their precious sap and failed to cover Vermont mountainsides just because I didn't want batter between my teeth? It's the moral equivalent of driving a Hummer to pick up the mail at the end of the driveway. I swore off pancakes.

The folks at International House of Pancakes may bring me back into the fold. Recent TV commercials show IHOP's Cheescake Pancakes, in essence a pancake sandwich with conventional flapjacks surrounding a thick layer of cheesecake innards and topped with what appears to be whipped cream and a fruit compote.

Though IHOP is noted for four (count 'em, four) syrups available on each and every table top, no syrup is required for this new menu item. Syrup plus cheesecake, whipped cream, and fruit would put Gandhi into diabetic shock. Maple trees of the world rejoice! Keep your sap. Grow strong and tall. Purify our air and provide shelter for those adorable woodland creatures.

Also, IHOP's profits are sure to zoom due to decreased syrup costs. It's a true win - win - win. Good for the environment, good for business and a boon to mediocre cooks everywhere.