The Garden State!

New Jersey has been the butt of jokes forever. "You're from Jersey? What exit?" "It smells like New Jersey in here." "I got dis wudder ice down da Showah. Youse gotta problem wid dat?"

It turns out that Jerseyites should be laughing at the rest of pump-your-own-gas America. The Wall Street Journal reported that Asian Americans living in the Garden State live better than any other ethnic group in any other state based on overall health, education, and income. "New Jersey Asian Americans live, on average, an astonishing 26 years longer, are 11 times more likely to have a graduate degree, and earn $35K more annually than South Dakota Native Americans."

Now, there's an argument for the Ramapo Indians to require documentation for "suspicious-looking" immigrants invading their Jersey homeland.

Latinos also fared best in the Garden State, living longer and making $7 K more annually then their brethren in Alabama which ranked lowest. Apparently, Asian-Americans and Latinos get the hang of traffic circles and "jug handles" a lot quicker than other ethnic groups.

Washington, DC gets highest grades for white folk while West Virginia brings up the rear. "Almost Heaven?", "Wild and Wonderful?" Perhaps not.

African-Americans prosper in Maryland and do worst in Louisiana. Thank you very much, Katrina and now British Petroleum.

Maybe all those negative jokes are subterfuge and New Jersey actually is the best place to live in these United States. I never really enjoyed pumping my own gas anyway.