Take Over The World

The fertile mind of Dan Brown gave us:

"The DaVinci Code" - The Priory of Sion has a plot to blackmail world leaders and take over the world!

"Angels and Demons" - The Iluminati has a plot to blackmail world leaders and take over the world!

"The Lost Symbol" - The Freemasons have a plot to blackmail world leaders and take over the world!

Now, Dan Brown and Tom Hanks don't need a new blockbuster book / movie plot line. Still, my inner Robert Langdon kicked in while attending graduation ceremonies this weekend. What if a shadowy, all-powerful organization is plotting to "get the goods" on the Class of 2010, patiently wait until those 2010ers become world leaders, blackmail them, and, what else?, take over the world!

But there are hundreds of thousands of graduates this year. Who can foresee which of them will be world leaders thirty years hence? Here's where the plotters show true genius. They will possess embarrassing photographs of each and every member of the Class of 2010!

"President (or CEO) (or Chief Justice) (or Admiral) Smith, do as we say, or we will release to the press (and place on You Tube) this photo of you dressed on an ill-fitting gown, wearing a ridiculous hat, sweating like a pig, and receiving your degree back in 2010. Close inspection reveals that you wore flip-flops on that day. And that hair style! You'll be laughed out of the Oval Office!"

"Oh, your spinmeisters will quote the Graduation Program page on "Academic Attire". Does anyone really believe that medieval scholars wore ugly black gowns to keep warm in those drafty lecture halls at the Sorbonne? It took until 2009 before TV infomercials brought us "Snuggie", the blanket with arm holes. Graduation gowns are the same thing and you wear them outdoors under the broiling sun? Graduation gowns are our idea."

"According to the "Academic Attire" blurb, those mortarboard hats marked medieval youth as scholars and cleverly served as portable desks? Guess what? They had real desks back then. We chose those hats because they look ridiculous on anyone. Our second choice was the bicycle helmet."

"We have the photo of you receiving your degree. Remember that shady-looking guy with the camera? He was our man. To cover our costs, we sell prints to your parents, but we keep the originals."

This could be Robert Langdon's toughest case yet.