A Senate Race

Being a US Senator is a pretty cool job. You get free postage. Supreme Court nominees come begging to your door for support. You can stay in office as long as you have a measurable pulse if you are Richard Byrd or Strom Thurmond. Still, there is that messiness of having to run for election every six years.

The current issue of The New Yorker discusses the Republican primary race for a US Senate seat from California. Tom Campbell would seem to have it in the bag. He is the sitting State Attorney General and has no skeletons in his closet. He is a "firm conservative". He would have voted against the federal stimulus package. He calls the federal health care bill "a monstrosity". He proposes building a wall along the Mexican border before even considering comprehensive immigration reform. Hey, it worked for the East Germans in Berlin. He stands four-square in favor of everything short of bringing back Eisenhower as President and requiring the TV networks to run new episodes of "Leave It To Beaver" from 8 to 11 every weeknight.

Still, there are two other candidates trying to "out Republican" him. In a recent debate, the three were asked whether individuals on the "no-fly" list should be permitted to buy a gun. Tom Campbell answered, "No!". Tom logically assumed that highjacking a plane is so much easier with an assault weapon in hand. Those TSA Security guy have been on the alert for box cutters since 9/11.

Candidate B replied, "Yes, if they have not been convicted of a felony." "Keep your nose clean, Abdullah. Commit no felonies. Then just walk into your local Wal-Mart and buy an AK-47. We'll get you around that "no-fly" problem with a fake ID."

Candidate C placed no qualifications on her enthusiastic "Yes" and added, "That's why Tom Campbell has a poor rating from NRA." Presumably, the NRA feels that terrorists (Isn't that what folks on the "no-fly" list are, after all?) should have access to guns. If nothing else, it replaces the monotony of another boring in-flight movie with the real possibility of an in-flight shoot-out between terrorists and real Americans with concealed weapon permits.

Candidate C also accused Campbell of being "soft on terrorism". She would at least allow the terrorists a fighting chance by allowing them to be armed. Then we blow them away.