Bieber 2040

Teen stars of the past are in the news and not in a good way.

There's the Gary Coleman mess, Cory Haim or Cory Feldman (I never ccoulkd get those two straight), Danny Bonaduce, and, of course, Lindsay Lohan. The question is wich current Teen Stars are likely to appear on a future police blotter. Will Taylor Swift turn into the Britney Spears of 2008 what with instant marriages, two babies in rapid succession, head shaving, and rehab? Will Miley Cyrus become the Amy Winehouse of 2012?

I am sure of one thing. Justin Bieber will never go off the deep end. First of all, he's Canadian. Our Neighbors to the North are invariably polite and well-grounded. Theer's that unfortunate tendency to end sentences with "Eh?" and that infatuation with hockey, but when Canadians become famous, they don't go insane. Take Dan Ackroyd, Mike Myers, and (shuddr) Celine Dion, for example. Second, he's not a product of The Disney Star Making Assembly Line. Look what happened to Britney Spears and Cristina Aguilera when they escaped The Realm of the Mouse. Third, Justin has that Dick Clark, Bob Costas "forever young" look going for him. He will be fifty years old and will still be carded by bartenders and, probably, drug dealers. How much trouble can he get into looking like a 14 year old for the rest of his life?

Passing by Supercuts the other day, I noticed a poster on its door advertising "Bieber Bingo", a radio station contest of some sort. A better Justin-related contest idea might be "Bieber 2040" wherein fans sketch what Justin will look like in thirty years.

My entry would be a current photo of Donald Trump. By 2040, Justin's signature combover will be baldness-disguising necessity and The Donald has that look down pat. I will surely win First Prize in "Bieber 2040". How I long for a backstage pass to a Justin concert.