Forty years ago, I was a young Army Lieutenant stationed at Camp Humphreys, Korea. "The Hump" was home to "real" Army units like my 802d Engineer Battalion, the 156th Aviation Company, the 4/44 Air Defense Artillery Battalion, the 502d Quartermaster Company, the 714th MP Company, etc. Off in their own private corner, ensconced in masonry buildings (Rumor had it they were air-conditioned as opposed to our oven-like Quonset huts), bristling with antennae and radar dishes was a unit of the Army Security Agency, electronically eavesdropping across the DMZ into North Korea.
Those guys were so secretive that they didn't even have a swell unit number like 802d or 4/44.
The ASA guys kept to their little luxurious corner of the base and didn't mix with us common folk. That Top Secret clearance has its advantages. We would occeasionally see them smoking and joking in civilian clothes looking clean and well-fed when we pulled into the base covered with mud and grime after days of cold C rations in the field. What manner of superior mortals were they?
Tuesday's "Daily Show" provided the answer. Jon Stewart revealed that the Army Intelligence guy who released thousands of classified documents from Afghanistan did so by inserting a blank disc into his computer labeled "Lady GaGa" and copying the documents onto it while humming Ms GaGa's greatest hits for cover. "Oh, I'm just doing my Top Secret job here while bopping along to the Lady, sir. There's nothing unusual going on at all."
How the Army has changed in 40 years. If one of those ASA guys had claimed he was listening to Lady GaGa's 1970 equivalent (say Tiny Tim) while on Top Secret duty, he'd be on the next plane to the stockade and a dishonorable discharge. A 1970s-era officer would question how anyone could listen to Lady GaGa for the hours it took to download those thousands of documents. "Son, I fully comply with "Don't ask; Don't tell", but is there something you want to get off your chest?"
One of the recurring bits on the old TV show "MASH" was Corporal Klinger's dresing in women's clothing in a vain attempt to be transferred out of Korea. I didn't think of that ploy when I was there. I wonder whether several hours of Tiny Tim would have worked though.
I keep an eye on what news breaks from the ASA citadel now that people are in their dotage.
ReplyDeleteI read they lived and worked in tiny, explosive cramped places and sometimes cannot get proof for pension rights. Read www.msbnews.co.uk ...Archive section.. A-z part, Alice in Wonderland for a confabulated tale of what the ASA might have been up to in SE Asia. All speculation, and dont miss the complaints, corections and retractions bit of the same story for balance. I still know nufink.