A Common Sense Solution

Leave it to Glenn Beck to come up with a common sense solution to our national woes.

In a recent show, Glenn noted that approximately 50% of all Americans do not pay Federal Income Tax. "These are the people who should be in the military protecting us in Afghanistan and Iraq!"

Makes sense to me, Glenn-Bo. Those parasite who don't pay taxes should contribute blood, sweat, and tears instead. Let's take a look at who those tax-shirking leeches really are:

1. Children under the age of 13. That's 20% of the American populace right there. Let's get them out of school and into the military! Our property taxes will go down. Kids can really fight, too. Remember those back seat battles between Tiffany, Josh, and Britney while driving on vacation?

2. Seniors over 65. Other than Wal-Mart greeters, that 15% of the population isn't working and contributing taxes. With the exemption that they get for being 65, they usually avoid being taxed on their interest income, too. Plus they get an extra exemption if they are blind. Draft them all! The Taliban won't last a month against an elderly , blind US Army.

3. Illegal Aliens. This 10% of the populace is necessarily paid tax-free "under the table". Few illegals say, "You are paying me so well for this sweatshop job that I want to pay taxes to support the community services that I can't take advantage of. Sure, the IRS will figure out that something is amiss when they get taxes from someone who is not supposed to be here, but that's a chance I'm willing to take." As a side benefit, Glenn and his Fox News crowd are always complaining that these illegal aliens can't even speak English. Well, put them in the Army and they'll pick up a complete vocabulary of four-letter English expletives in no time!

4. Really rich guys. During his divorce proceedings, billionaire Frank McCourt, owner of the LA Dodgers revealed that he hasn't paid Federal taxes in five years. "Only the little people pay taxes", indeed. It may be tough getting the really rich into the military, unless, of course, they get a "show up if you feel like ti" slot in the Texas Air National Guard like G.W. Bush did.

Thanks, Glenn, for simultaneously solving our budget deficit and national security problems. Now can you take a look at that oil spill?