Lake Wobegone Reconsidered

In this time of chaos, don't we yearn for Garrison Keillor's Lake Wobegone "where the women are strong, the men are beautiful and all the children are above average"? Lake Wobegone actually exists! In the Magical World of TV Snack Food commercials, that is.

After "Today" scared us this morning with reports on escalating casualties in Afghanistan, the latest on the ecological disaster in the Gulf, Mel Gibson's rants, and a live concert by Enrique Iglesias, two commercials showed us The Real America. The first opened with a Mom entering her kitchen on a sunny morning to find her 8 year old son having dressed himself, prepared his own breakfast, packed his own lunch, and headed out to the school bus with a cheery, "I made a surprise for you, Mom". She opens a paper bag to find that he made her a Jif peanut butter sandwich with an enscribed heart.

In the Magical World of TV Snack Food Commercials (and Lake Wobegone, no doubt), kids are entirely self-sufficient and even thoughtful unlike the Real World of dragging the kid out of bed and attempting to squeeze breakfast, minimum personal hygiene, getting dressed, finding school books, and packing some sort of lunch before the school bus gives up and pulls away.

The next commercial was even more fantastic. Two sisters, aged about 10 and 6, return home after school and head directly for the cookie jar. The older finds only one Keebler cookie in the jar and holds it just out of the reach of the younger. In the Real World, of course, Big Sister would hold it until Little Sister was standing in a puddle of drool and then proceed to gulp it down followed by the requisite screams, threats, and tears. In the Magical World (and probably Lake Wobegone as well), Big Sister ponders her options and gives it to Little Sis. The Keebler Elves reward her selflessness by depositing another cookie in the jar.

Actually, I'm not sure that I would want to live in The Magical World of Commercials or Lake Wobegone. Those thoughtful kids freak me out. It would be cool to have an elf in the house to replenish the cookie supply though.